Who would have imagined it could be such a mind boggling task?
I'm ready to cry and pull all the hair out of my head....
I honestly feel sorry for my daughter.
I do.
I know from spending countless hours shopping with her that they don't make cute clothes that fit her boobies.
Her boobs are holding her hostage!
Her boobs measure 52 inches around.
52 INCHES!
This is an example of what 52 inches looks like....
That wheel in the front is 52 inches tall...
Here is an example of what 52 inches wide looks like...
Now THAT is a big TV. Can you imagine carrying something like that around on your chest?
The doctor will not do a breast reduction until she is over the age of 21, so until then, we will continue to do what we can to reign those babies in.
My poor little Miss KIA.
She hasn't learned to drive yet because it causes breathing problems....
"I hope I don't suffocate myself before I reach the mall."
And trying to find a bathing suit is impossible....
My daughter wants to be a neurosurgeon. Can you imagine what kind of reception she would get when she walked in to talk to the patient?
*sigh*
Anyway, I am lamenting her curse and attempting to make her a dress so she doesn't have to wear something that drapes over her.
It's hard though. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a cute dress pattern to fit GINORMOUS TATA'S!??!
I'm winging it people.
So I have to go and get busy.
All I have left to say is this...
Pray.
Pray to whatever God you pray to and ask for mercy just this once. It's not for me so much as it is for Miss KIA.
Dear Boob Lord,
Please allow me to make a dress for Miss KIA that will cover her breasts almost entirely and prevent her boyfriend's head from getting lodged in her cleavage. Please let me find a way to make them look a little smaller in comparison with her much smaller waist and help her to understand that I am just a casual seamstress who is doing the best I can to make her a dress without the help of any patterns or Vodka products.
Amen
Thanks for the help people...I need it.
she has to wait until 21? that's crazy.
ReplyDeletefly to Brazil or California. they'll do it, im sure.
ummm.... 52"? That's a bit to much of a good thing. Seems odd that they will make her wait until 21 for a reduction, but I will bet if a 17 year old went in with a parent for an augmentation she would be in the OR in no time. Here hoping your dress can contain those bad boys.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your deposit into Moog's Spank Bank.
ReplyDeleteMove along.
Oh dear . . . poor girl.
ReplyDeleteLordy, Lordy. I think I would save my $$ for a trip to Brazil.
ReplyDeleteMiss Sew and Sew here with an answer to your top heavy prayers.
ReplyDeleteGo to the library and check out a copy of "Fitting Finesse" by Nancy Zieman, or Snewing with Snancy. This book explains how to easily redraw patterns so that they fit both around the shoulders and around the bust. It's seriously not difficult.
Then, when her dress fits, you can smile proudly with only one side of your mouth.
Good luck with it! I also have big girls so I know how hard it can be. She's lucky to have you for a Mom.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good mom! Best of luck to you AND Miss KIA!
ReplyDeleteAnswer re the augmentation/reduction age: Breast density changes as we age. They want to make sure she's finished "growing" before they do anything "drastic". The doctors also likely want to make sure it isn't a "vanity" thing.
I'd think they'd classify it as necessary to keep her back from slipping. Poor girl.
Well she will always have weird fetish internet porn . . .
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to seriously cage Malach and sedate him.
ReplyDeletePoor baby! I was the great flat plains when I was her age. I was kinda pissed I didn't need a bra or could wear any of the pretty ones. And I used blush to make it look like I had some cleavage before going out. Then I had babies.
It is kinda hard going from an AA to a C and when breast feeding a D. So I feel for her... I was definitely more comfortable when smaller.
Good mommy...
One should never sew without vodka! AM Vodka with Tomato Juice
ReplyDeleteLunch Vodka in Long Island Tea
Mid Afternoon snack Vodka and Tonic
Evening...Vodka with blue cheese olive...afterall one must keep up their strength.