It's hell.
I'm in hell.
I wonder what the hell I was thinking.
I feel like hell, I look like hell...HELL!!!
BANG..BANG..DING..DING...WHOO...WHOO!!!
Yep..that's the word alright.
I don't feel like going into details or anything but I'm embarrassed.
That's my mood for today...
I'm about to die of it in fact.
I did something that may have been a little over the top and now I'm worried I've upset someone I know.The fact that they have not responded to the "weird humor" I shared with them worries me.
So I shot off an email of apology and still I haven't received a response.
There is something frightening about putting yourself out there and sharing the more intimate thoughts and what not with people...but it's much harder when it's with someone you KNOW in person. I may do things to shock or offend people who read this but it's not like I'm going to run into you at the school or the grocery store. Besides....there is a comfort in knowing that here, I can feel free to write what I want. Everyone respects that blogs are meant for sharing those thoughts we would otherwise keep inside.
Can you imagine walking up to someone, even someone you know, and talking to them about the things you write in your blog with the same ease and comfort you write?
Yeah...I'm pretty out there, here and in the real world but even I can't imagine the words flowing out of my head while talking to someone they same way they do when I sit to write....
Not to change the subject or anything but I needed to address this one thing before I forget.
Yes Paul, that song you have heard and like IS associated with St.Lucia. It's a very significant part of the whole tradition.
So...getting back to the point of this entire post....
What was the reaction of my friend when they saw my racy joke?
Was it this?
Or this?
I was hoping for this reaction...
So with that said...
What have you done that has caused you to feel awkward afterwards?
I don't actually KNOW if I've humiliated myself or not, but this person's silence is deafening...it makes me feel like I've committed a faux pas....like they were totally grossed out...like they are so upset by it they can't stand to even talk to me.
So go ahead...spill you guts and let me know I'm not the only one who's ever wanted to kick myself in the ass.
How much you want to bet I turn BEET RED the next time I see my friend? And trust me...it takes A LOT to embarrass me.
Someone kick me, ok?
I feel like that by just breathing sometimes. And I agree blogging is not something you can say to those you know in "Real Life". I've only a few real experiences where I opened up and "tried" and I have regrets, but I'm sure you are fine. They are probably laughing to hard to respond.
ReplyDeleteAck! I hate deafening silences. Even an angry response is better than the silent treatment...it's the worst.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to make of your friend but perhaps you could send a little nudge email about something unrelated just to get some response, any response and then maybe she will spill...
What have I done to get silent treatment? Oh golly...long story.
Well, you *could* run into me out and about. LOL. I've done loads to shame myself and mostly, I don't even care. The way I see it is if I lay all my cards on the table upfront and the other party doesn't want to pursue a friendship, well, nothing lost.
ReplyDeleteI give all of my co-workers nicknames.
ReplyDeleteSome of them aren't nice, and sometimes the nicknames SLIP OUT when I'm talking to them.
This usually in front of the company president.
[Two of my co-workers are nicknamed Duh-lish-uhs - he's stupid but cute - and Sugar Britches - cuz he's a slut.]
There. D'ya feel any better?
All I know is I wouldn't want you to be anyone other than you. Unless I didn't like you, but I do.
ReplyDeleteIt's knowing where you're coming from, and that's a good place.
If you want to know what's going on, just ask 'em. What could happen?
:)
I speak at family funerals. Not a preacher...I get up and talk about the person's life or whatever needs to be said. When my uncle died, I ended up pretty much taking the whole family to the woodshed during the funeral. People thanked me and then didn't talk to me at all during the after-funeral grubfest. They obviously listened because family members who hadn't talk to each other in years were getting along, but no one talking to me.
ReplyDeleteIt was a very weird feeling. I went home wondering if I'd patched the family up in a way that left me on the outside of the patchwork. Then, I got a phone call from my aunt that night to let me know what all nice things people were saying after I left. They "didn't know what to say" to me.
If your friend is really a prude enough that one off-color joke is going to send them scurrying, you really don't need friends like that. It's more a sign of a problem inside the friend than between the two of you.
P.S., thanks for the verification about that song. Now, you're forever associated with it every time I hear it :)
ReplyDeleteWon't you please tell us the joke so we can mock your friend at their oversensitivity? Please?
ReplyDeleteDeafening silences are the worst. You can either confront the other eprson or flip the fukkit finger and move on.
Tiff is right and I wouldn't worry too much about it. If that person never speaks to you again, so be it.
ReplyDeleteI know Blondie. I've done some things in my life that still have an effect on me. Sometimes it's things I did 20 yrs ago.
ReplyDeleteI'll be driving down the road and one of those things will dawn on me and I have this whole cringe-yell-distract myself physical reaction besides the gross embarassment. Mostly it's stuff I did when I drank way too much or ingested way too many illegal drugs. The unfortunate side of my excess was that I never blacked out and always remembered what I did the next morning.
the horror
Kurtz out.