Moist...the word of the day....

I like the word moist.

It describes a variety of things I enjoy....cake...kisses...towelettes...soil...chicken...you get the gist of it, right?
Of course there are a few people who think moist is a disgusting word but I think it's just because they have heard it used improperly.



The way I see it is that it's all about how you use the word. It's not a bad word at all!

It's used to advertise many useful products...cake mix...heating pads...chicken cooker thingy's.
HUH?
What's a chicken cooker thingy?
It's one of these things...



Apparently you use it when you cook your chicken to help make it moist.
You stick it in the chicken...like so...

And you get the gosh darndest, cutest, moistest chicken ever!

How can anyone say that moist is a bad word?
It's all about how you use it....seriously...

For example...Mr.Man just called me because he was pooping. He's one of those dudes who can't stand to poop away from home, but occasionally he is forced to so he either...
A: Designates a stall at work as his own safe poop-zone
B: Calls me while on the shitter to establish contact with home base.

Ok...so what's my point you ask?
Don't be so fucking impatient...
I was talking about correct ways to use moist.

So anyhow, he called me and told me he was pooping. I asked him how it was going. He said it was fine. So I asked him if he was constipated and he said no. So I said to him, "Well that's good. It's a nice moist shit then."


"MOIST!"

See!
That is one correct way of using the word moist.(And you were thinking that it only works when discussing cake...HA!)

Of course there are inappropriate ways to use the word too.

For example, if you see some hot guy standing in line at Krogers you should not say to the cashier or some total stranger, "Wow...that guy makes my panties moist!"


"Why does this woman ALWAYS come through MY checkout lane?"

People don't appreciate the visual and unless you're having phone sex or texting suggestively to your lover, moist should not be used in that context.

Other suggestions for things NOT to use moist for:


"Man...it's fucking hot.I'm feeling a little moist under the titties!"

Most people don't appreciate knowing about that sweaty place beneath your mammaries...just saying.

Here's another inappropriate use of the word "moist"...

"I think I sharted...my ass crack feels moist."


"It must be something I ate..."


Yeah...that's not appropriate unless it's Elderly Hell day and you want to escape a situation involving several old ladies and huge shopping carts...

One exception to using the word moist in a rude manner is shown below.Sometimes it's necessary to say something in an appropriate situation...


"He needs some goddamn deodorant...he stinks and his pits look pretty moist."

I'm sure you get the general idea now.

I'm always glad to help out....

So remember when you use the word "moist" today, use it correctly and with caution!