I'm not a drug user but I go on trips anyway....

Does anyone else have these "episodes" where they feel like they're zoned out to the point of floating on a different dimensional plane?

Or is it just me?


"Where am I and why do I look like a Kroger birthday cake?"

I am not a drug user and never have been.
I like to be in control of what I'm doing and I don't care much for the "purple haze" feeling.
Even when drinking, I keep it low key and I've only blacked out once. That was a tequila night and I did shots. I try to avoid tequila now because it makes me insane and naked.
As we all know, I don't need any help with that.
But yeah...it's this medicine. It makes me feel weird some days. Once I'm completely used to it, I'll be able to get up and keep going but in the meantime, some days I need to lie back down again. Like today. So some days my posts may be a little late until I get adjusted.

Jowl woman is probably pissed off at me.
I didn't really DO anything to her, it's just something I said. And honestly I'm not even the one who started it.
See...her husband has started wearing a white cowboy hat.
And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wearing a cowboy hat. People in Texas and other areas wear them all the time.


"Does this hat make me look smarter?"


Gee George, I don't think a hat is gonna do it for you...

On some people a cowboy hat looks sexy...


"Look! It's an all day sucker dressed up in a cowboy hat!"

MMM...MMM...MMMM...

Ahem...ok. Getting back to what I was saying..
It's just not common to wear a cowboy hat here in West Virginia, unless you're going to a country western bar or a concert.
Anyway, Jowl woman's hubby wears his cowboy hat to work. He apparently wears it with his business suit. And it doesn't look bad on him, it's just like I said, it's a little out of place for here.
Well, the other night when we were both picking our kids up from practice, Jowl woman told her daughter to hurry up because daddy was waiting in the car for them. The daughter asked, "Is he wearing that stupid hat?"...to which Jowl woman replied,'Yes, he's wearing that stupid hat. Now hurry up."
The daughter then made a remark about him looking like the Lone Ranger.
Of course I couldn't pass that up.
I tried...I really did...but I finally had to turn to Jowl woman and ask her...

"Does that mean you're Tonto?"

She wasn't impressed.


"I saw you looking at the Blonde Goddess! You want her! I know it! I hate you!"
"Tonto, don't be an asshole!"

HAHAHAHA!
I am so wicked!

I found an interesting book I think I'd enjoy.It's a book about useless and gross information about your body. I think I'd find that interesting...


"Don't eat your boogers? I wonder what it says about farting?"

What kind of useless information could there be in that book?
It mentions a section on what human flesh tastes like and how astronauts take a shit in space.

Cool.
About the booger eating...what if your boogers are yummy?

"Fruity pebbles!"

Ok...so that kind of even grossed me out.
(Not really...)

Tomorrow is another edition of Spandex Hell! I'm so fucking excited I can't stand it. If it weren't for the drinking I will do with my friends following the long, LONG day of singing, dancing, back biting drama, I'd be pulling my hair out by handfuls.
There is the knowledge that it's the last one this year, so that makes me happy. I'm ready for a break from it and believe me, I need a break from it.

Of course that doesn't mean I won't be tormented by my children's activities.
Little Beatle is running track and I got to attend a FIVE HOUR TRACK MEET LAST NIGHT!


"FIVE FUCKING HOURS!!!"

That, my friends, is a story for another day. I haven't got it in me to replay the entire thing in my head right now.

Hope you all have a great weekend and don't forget to vote for the lucky person who'll get to interview me over on the poll thingy. I'm leaving it up over the weekend and a couple of days next week. Make your friends vote for you if you're in the running. No question will go unanswered!

See ya Monday!