Freaks arrive and Queen's alive!

This weekend was difficult.
I felt completely annoyed all day Saturday.
I got up at the butt crack of dawn and got ready.
I always begin my day with coffee but decided I needed something a little stronger...


"Vodka! Breakfast of the Blonde Goddess!"

I was leaving for an entire day of Spandex Hell.
Do you have any idea what that's like?
Yeah, I can show you pictures of it but you still don't actually KNOW what kind of torture I suffer at these things....


"We are the champions, my friend!"

They have almost managed to ruin my love of Queen. Do the directors not know of any other groups songs to butcher?

Of course no edition of Spandex Hell would be complete without the Jowl Woman, Butt Butt and Delusional Mama. And to add to the whole thing, Jowl Woman brought the Lone Ranger with her.
He sulks around and follows her like a puppy dog.
Then he sits and stares into outer space, pretending like he's not paying attention. Secretly, I think he places himself in a self-induced coma and he's not aware of what's going on around him...


"La,la,la and all the pretty little ponies."

Of course Jowl Woman watches him like a hawk because she is insecure and insane and thinks someone will try to steal him away from her.
If he so much as SPEAKS to anyone, she feels as though she's in danger of losing her man to another woman.


"I will kill that Blonde Goddess bitch if she even looks at my man!"


Trust me...she doesn't have anything to worry about.

I wandered around the school, watching people in between shows. There were quite a few interesting people there.

One guy, who was obviously dressed to inform the entire world that he's most likely a member of the militia, claimed a boy dressed like this as his son.


"Here we see Billy Ray Jr. dressed in the designer look "I hate my father and despise everything he stands for", clearly worn to announce to the world that he is NOTHING like his father."

Then there was this other lady who sat and watched shows all day. She didn't actually seem to be there to watch anyone in particular.She was dressed a little over the top. I couldn't help but notice her.
She was one weird lady.
At least I THINK she was a lady...


"Arnold wondered if anyone could tell he wasn't really a woman."

Last but not least there was one mother there who HAD to be either drunk or under the influence of some major drugs. She was practically falling down and NO...it wasn't me. I'm not that stupid. When I drink, I don't pass out in public. For shame if you were thinking that!

A saw her in the parking lot when I walked outside to get a breath of fresh air.


"Lillian never really got over not being chosen for her school's show choir."

Some people take that shit so seriously. I'm not one of them. It's something my kids enjoy but it's not their whole life. It's just expensive and time consuming.

Anyway, that's pretty much a recap of my day at Spandex Hell. Thankfully it's the last one for this year and I'm THRILLED!
In fact I went out drinking with some friends afterward and we had a blast! It certainly made up for suffering through the day.

The prom dress shopping fell through and in light of the break up and current nightmare situation at school, I guess it's probably a good thing that we didn't find a dress.

Well that's all I got. I suppose I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how Veggie Stick's day went today. So far it's been bad, but not as bad as she thought it would be.

See ya tomorrow.