The economy has me worried.
Am I the only one?
Mr.Man called me this morning while he was out and about looking around and wanted to know if he could spent $250.00 to $300.00 on something he wanted.
Er....
I'm not sure what planet or reality he lives in but does he actually think we have that kind of money for him to spend on his hobbies?
He took a different job with his company last year to help with the strain on his back. It meant a pay cut and less overtime. He made 15 grand LESS last year than the year before. I'm thinking that's A FUCKING LOT of a difference.
He seems oblivious to it.
So does everyone else in this house.
I pinch pennies and scrimp and save and when there does happen to be a little extra in the bank, he wants to spend it.
I'm worried about making sure we have a small cushion in case of an emergency.
Of course then I hear the old "I'm the one bringing this paycheck home" story and "You're not even working"...
Hold on one fucking minute here....
I don't bring home a paycheck but I do EVERYTHING else! And I do Mean EVERYTHING! I'm the one who takes the kids everywhere they need to go. I'm the one who volunteers in their activities. I'm the one who mows the fucking lawn at the ball field and at home because Mr.Man doesn't feel like doing it.
The other day when I dropped some things off to a friend of mine, he said, "You need to tell your husband to clean your car for you."
Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for me to admit that not only doesn't he clean my car for me, he doesn't change the oil in it, doesn't take it to be inspected, doesn't do ANYTHING FOR ME AT ALL!
So here I am today, sick with a chest cold that's making me feel like someone had a vice grip around my lower lungs, and I'm cleaning the house. The kids are gone, he is gone and they all left me home with a sink full of dirty dishes and not so much as a washcloth clean in this house.
I'm ready to just break down and bawl my head off.
And now for the worst of it.
Mr.Man will come home and bitch at me because he wasn't allowed to buy his toy today.
Why is that my fault?
WHY!!!!
I make all the sacrifices here and I'm tired of it.
I just can't take it anymore.
Am I supposed to get a job and work my ass off because everyone else I live with are selfish babies.
I know I have been told that I need to do this and I need to do that and I can change things in my house if I want to but seriously, I HAVE tried everything...with him and with the kids.
It just doesn't take.
He doesn't listen or doesn't care and the kids don't take me seriously because of the way he treats me.
I'm just tired...I'm defeated and I'm sick.
I want someone to take care of ME for once in my life!!!
I'm tired of always being the giver. I'd like to try being the taker...just once in awhile, you know?
Sorry about the rant but I needed to get it off my chest. I'll suck it up and deal with it like I always do and I'll be my bright, chipper self again on Monday so don't stress over it.
I always manage to live up to the expectations of others. It's a good thing too because I have no idea anymore what I expect of myself.
Uh Oh...Mr. Man is home. Now the REAL fun begins...
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Hmmm... I have a hard time understanding the lack of knowledge thing. I guess being single I take for granted that I have to understand what comes in and goes out and what is extra. It would totally freak me out to not have that understanding. {{HUGS}} I have witnessed the I'm working you don't sort of attitude from friends and It's never a good thing. Take care.
ReplyDeleteSo, quit your home job and take a
ReplyDelete'not at home" job, and then see who does what.
Seriously sweetie - you're perched over the deep end here, and it's a long fucking way down.
Get the job, keep ALL the money from it for YOURSELF, turn the household finances over to Mister Man, make the girls drive little Beatle around, teach them how to do dishes, and quit sacrificing the little tiny remaining it of YOURSELF for people who obviously don't appreciate you as an actual human being.
My goodness - I'm so ANGRY! Want me to come on over there and start acting all "SuperNanny" on your fambly? I will - the PMS rage is on me and I've got nobody good at home to growl on...
Tiff...."Super-Nanny" me damn it!
ReplyDeleteI've tried everything I know how. It seems pointless to keep saying that because it's obvious no one takes me seriously...at home or otherwise.
I really have tried. I think the reason the kids don't take me seriously is because Mr.Man doesn't take me seriously.
Then, my friends don't take me seriously when I say I've tried EVERYTHING I know how.
Oh...why am I bothering to try to justify my attempts?
Why am I bothering to complain?
I was just venting.
I'm going to stop. It makes me look pathetic and inept.
You don't impress me as pathetic or inept. Venting is a necessary thing. Hang in there.
ReplyDeletem.
I do everything around here too - and don't even get me started on finances. I control that as well, so I can keep a tight rein on it. Sorry things are rough right now.. maybe you and Mr. Man can sit down tonight and go over the bank statement - if he sees the bottom line, he might change his tune about spending. One can hope... ?
ReplyDeleteTiff's advice is good. Or you could get out the checkbooks and the bills and show him why he can't really afford it. If he still pouts - then get a job.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! My wife handles our finances - I don't have the faintest idea how much I owe on ANYTHING!
ReplyDeleteBut I did just wash the dog. And I bought her a tool box for her truck, course, it was her romantic birthday present.
I was going to suggest Mr. Man needed to give you a good "lovin'" to sort things out, but then that would make me look bad too.
Us men suck. All of us.
I'm with Tiff.
ReplyDeleteWhile she's going Super Nanny on your family, I will make you soup.
Then you can write a letter of resignation to your family as the Miracle Worker, get them all alarm clocks, direct them to the school bus, and lock yourself in your room.
If they fail to get up/ready for school, call the principal and ask him to make sure they get an F FOR THE day.
Then transfer the 'extra' into a savings account...
Well I respectfully disagree...he called because it was important for the purchase to be OK with you...the most important person in the family...the one who everything revolves around...you know the lighthearted one who makes everything go. When you threw some common sense at him he lashed out, is that OK? No. It does not indicate how important or how serious they take you. I say 'eat dessert first' let him spend it!
ReplyDeleteGo to a day spa for one day a month. You will feel better.
ReplyDeleteOkay - probably not what you want to do - but what your are going through is why I got a divorce. I went and found me a job. Not a high paying job but enough to qualify for a low income home as a divorced woman with children. It was hell but I survived. I understand your pain and hope you find a resolution for your problems.
ReplyDeletebossinjo, you have a good point. It's probably a good thing that Mr Man called and asked to spend the money. However, no matter what the answer was, someone was going to be mad - Tammie wants to SAVE (as most women do, because we like a feathered nest), and he wants to get pleasure from the money he makes on a more immediate basis (boys and their toys are hard to part).
ReplyDeleteThis, I think, is a clear case of Tammie being asked to do too much. If she's in CHARGE of the finances then what she says should be the final answer. There should be no pouting or fighting about it. If he wants to have toys and expensive hobbies, the he needs to be responsible for the finances and should be able to determine just how much can be spent on "perishables" and how much (by their mutual agreement) should be saved for the things that Tammie thinks are important.
Sometimes it pays off to relinquish responsibility, even if it means watching someone else stumble as they learn to walk on their own two feet.
Men ain't worth a shit- and that's coming from a man. I'm not the least bit afraid to say that. I literally feel sorry for my wife for having to put up with me.
ReplyDeleteBut after years of coming to my senses, I finally have decided my wife is right about not spending cash on shit we don't need. We're getting that tax refund back and I'm thinking, "Playstation 3, Playstation 3." but Priscilla D. is right, we ought to pay off our cars first and start sticking something away for these high ass gas prices.
But you are right, Blonde Goddess- this economy is in serious trouble. I'd say once everyone's credit cards are maxed out and they can't afford to pay their 19% interest payments that this country is going to come falling down like the London Bridge. And there ain't hardly a one in our state or federal government that has the slightest amount of wit on how to deal with the looming crisis.
Stewy is here to solve all your problems. You're correct, the economy is basically fsck'd. We're in the midst of one of the worst financial disasters this country has ever seen. And Bush is pretty happy with everything. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteI do have the solution for you though. You have children. They don't appreciate stuff blah blah blah. So create a lottery. Whoever wins the lottery doesn't get a kidney sold.
No need to thank me, I'm here to help!
Hang in there, sounds like you need a break girl!
ReplyDeleteSet some rules for yourself, some limits and stick to them...It is not your job alone to keep everything all stuck together...and everyon needs to be responsible for the happiness of the family besides you!!
(But I know where you are coming from...hey I want the Super-Nanny too)!Hang in there!
I hear ya sister!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've worked outside the home in my life. Hell, I've worked A LOT but it's entirely different to be a housewife/mom. Not having anyone to tell you what job to do and where to be and when it has to be done sounds like good stuff but it's actually MORE emotionally and mentally stressing. Instead, everyone under the sun thinks I have all this time to spare and that I can do everything that everyone else in the free world "doesn't have time" to do. I have to set my schedual every day so I can get ALL the shit done. I don't have anyone prioritizing my tasks for me.
I get the "your husband should do (whatever favor) for you thing all the frickin time. I understand when you say you're embarassed. I am too.
I work my ass off for these people and I want to be treated well. My husband works his ass off too but when he comes home he's "OFF". When am I "off"?
I took the last two weekends off and away from the house but the shithole that I came back to barely made it worth it. Some consideration would have been nice.
Ugh. I didn't mean to blog on your blog! LOL