The King of the Ding-A-ling

I have read a lot of articles in my time.
Most times they are informative or amusing. Some are downright stupid or boring. I read them anyway, hoping that it will broaden my way of thinking...or at the very least, give me something to make fun of later when I'm bored.
Then there are surveys.
Surveys are an entity in themselves. They are both interesting and informative because they are not manufactured by one person's opinion. There is input from a broad spectrum of people and sometimes there is even one answer or two that would have been YOUR answer.
So I like surveys. They're fun. I'm all about fun. Serious is not part of my chosen vocabulary and I try to avoid it at all costs....
One survey I read that stands out in particular is one from Cosmo. They survey asked women questions about their sex life.
It was interesting to see the different answers to common questions and some of the excerpts from the readers who'd responded to the survey.
In this survey one of the questions was, "How you do you know your man wants to have sex?"
Hmm.....How does a woman know when their man wants to have sex?
A percentage of women said their men would give them a "special look" and that's how they knew they wanted to have sex.
Of course there was no description or illustration to describe what the "special look" actually looked like.
Does the "special I-want-to-have-sex-with-you look" look like this?



Cause I'm thinking that most guys I KNOW usually have THIS look on their faces when they want to have sex...or think there's a chance they're going to get it...



Tell me I'm lying....This IS how they look,right? Grateful....Excited...Amazed...yeah...it's this look. This is the "special look" their men was giving them. I'm certain of it.I've seen this look before.

There was another percentage of women who said their men would give them a "special kiss" when they wanted sex.
Ok...the "special kiss"...heh heh heh....
I'm guessing that most people read that and this picture popped into their heads...



When I saw that answer THIS image popped into my head....I mean they did say "special kiss" right?



Hey! When you sign a card or something the X's are always kisses....
I'm just saying...

Yet another percentage of women said their men just came right out and asked for sex. This, apparently, is how they knew they wanted to have sex. I suppose I could have pictured them asking like this...



But we all know the truth is more like this, don't we?



Well....except at my house. At my house it's more like this...



And then of course came the answer that I would have sent in. It was a very small percentage of women that had the courage to answer truthfully. In fact I think it was less than ten women out of hundreds that gave the same answer I would have.

Question: "How you do you know your man wants to have sex?"

Answer: "He shows me his erection."

That's right folks...he whips it out and shows it to me. Laugh all you want...it's true. I see the signals very plainly in fact and have no doubt in my mind when Mr.Man wants sex.

The tent goes up...



Then the weapon of choice comes out...



Yep...true stuff.
It's comforting to know there are other women out there who go through the same thing I do. Not all of us are romanced I guess and it makes me feel a little less deprived...

The word for today will be "stapler". I have been sitting here attempting to write this for well over two hours. It's not because I didn't have anything to write about or that I had to keep editing things....it's because I have been interrupted five hundred times to hand Mr.Man the stapler. Without the interruptions I would have been finished in less than thirty minutes. So...one more request for the damn stapler and I'm going ape shit. I've got paperwork to take care of and I want to get it done.

Yesterday I got to spend most of my day with Randy and Mark. Little Beatle is in an activity with Randy's son and we were recruited to lug and tug things to help out with it. In spite of the hard work, it was loads of fun and I got a free lunch out of it. Randy took us to Cold Spot and bought us lunch. Wings and Onion rings...fart fuel for the fabulous.
Anyway, we made plans to have a drinking party, which I am looking forward to, and I discovered that I am much more comfortable hanging out with guys, eating wings and talking about guy stuff than I am hanging out with girls, talking about girl stuff. This is proof that the male hormones are winning and the female ones are slowly disintegrating from my body.

With that said this is my mood for today....

When I found this clip I couldn't believe how perfectly it fit my mood for today...



Sometimes I feel a little hyper...and crazy and wild...plus there was even the lip thing I do sometimes when I'm alone in the car. Remember the Japanese guy who gave me the finger when I was on the interstate? Yeah...I still haven't figured out if that's an obscene gesture in Japan or not.

Does anyone know? Maybe it's just me...I'm an obscene gesture...*shrugs*

Whatever....