The things I do for love....damn near makes me nuts too.

The first thing I want to know is why there wasn't more fucking love in the comments yesterday?

Perhaps I wasn't missed at all?
I don't HAVE to write in here you know!
I can entertain myself with drunken masturbation!

YEAH!

Speaking of last week....
When I was without internet, I occupied the rest of my time by recovering from the prom....
Yes.



The prom.
Both girls went to their prom a week ago this past Saturday and getting them ready for it was about as much fun as having a hot poker stuck in my asshole...and just as entertaining.

The first melt down came when the curling iron accidentally touched Veggie Stick's ear while I was doing her hair.
I heard every cuss word in the universe fly out of her mouth and then after looking at me with a combination of shock and homicidal rage, she flew up the stairs crying hysterically and locked herself in the bathroom.


"Your mother says you really need to stop throwing a fit and get ready."

I looked at Miss KIA, who informed me that I was NOT going to touch her hair and she'd do it herself.

Great.
So at 2:00 in the afternoon I poured myself a green apple vodka mixed with cranapple juice (I call this creation a "Tammie Twister") and began my decent into "Who gives a fuck what my ungrateful daughters look like for prom" coma.
Yes...
I am a good mother.

As I sat and drank, they got ready and when their dates arrived I was still sober enough to take pictures.
Hey...I'm just being honest here.

This is what they looked like.
I took pictures and I'm actually getting to post them for you.
Pretty fucking awesome of me, huh?

Miss KIA went for a more subtle look.



I thought she would have looked better without the sweater over her dress but she said it helped conceal her cleavage.
Like I'm sure her boyfriend,Joe Dirt's Car,appreciated that. (Remember how he cried when she said she'd probably have to get a breast reduction someday?)

Veggie Stick went for something a little more loud.



Of course she can pull off the loud thing. She's got confidence galore and isn't afraid to tell people what she's thinking...(that's why she did her own goddamn hair thank you very much.)
Frowie seemed to think she was beautiful, although in secret he confessed he was hoping for an "I Dream Of Jeannie" hairstyle on Veggie Stick...


"Gee Veggie Stick, you look great!"
"Thank you master Frowie!"
"Do I get three wishes now Veggie Stick?"

I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY IF EITHER ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS ARE PREGNANT!


"First you load your weapon and after large amounts of vodka and hysterical crying you find the responsible party and shoot his pee pee off."

*Takes a deep breath*

It's ok...
I'm ok...
Ok.

Anyway, that's the recap of the whole prom deal.
I survived it and while it took several days for me to recover from it, I did.
Of course right after that the whole play thing kicked into high gear....

But that's another story for another day.
Like tomorrow...

See ya then.