I found myself almost giving in to Veggie Stick this morning when she said she didn't feel good and wanted to stay home....(because we all know that giving in is easier than fighting.)
Then it hit me...
I've been giving in and giving up just because I've been too miserable to care.
And I don't like it.
I know I said that blogging isn't the way for me to deal with this thing, but this morning I was so twisted in knots that I felt like my stomach was trying to crawl out my ass. I'm shaky and nervous and it's unsettling to not have control over my physical and emotional state.
Yeah, I put on a good show when I'm out in public. I can lose myself in work and not think about it...but then when it's quiet, like in the car on the way home, in the shower or laying down to sleep at night...it crushes me again....
What I'm dealing with is no different that what fifty million other people have dealt with at one time or another so don't fret. I'll get through it. I just need time.
And just so everyone knows...it has nothing to do with my marriage or my children. I don't want people to read this and speculate that there are problems in either of those areas of my life.
Right now I just need to hurt...then get angry and maybe even learn to hate a little bit.(or a lot...only time will tell)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment