Friday, May 30, 2008

Lurkers....

I know you're out there dammit!
There are A LOT of people who read this thing yet have never acknowledged they exist. I AM CURIOUS!

Who is reading this thing?

Aliens?
The government?
Perverts?
International spies?

I don't really feel concerned about it but I am wondering...who, what and most especially why?

I'm speculating it's the insanity...stupidity....and juvenile writing technique that attracts people.
I speculate but I don't know...

It shows me the top searches that bring people here so I know some of you may be here because of:

blonde whipped cream
queef video
boob.blogspot
duck butter sweat
fuck jennifer broome
blonde inspection undressed
why do i deserve to be a goddess for a day
blonde goddess fuck
loring air force base, maine
pretty anus
built like a goddess
what i think of women with big stomachs
blond goddess
warning spyware detected on your computer thingee on my screen!!!
blonde goddess
the blonde goddess
boobs flopping around while getting
dear god, i have a problem and i think it is me
blonde goddess ohio
flopping boobs
big bellied women
picture of a very old lady
wings from hell
jump boy goddess
people pooing in people's mouth's
jennifer broome boob job

These were taken directly from the site counter with the top of the list being the most popular search and the bottom being the least popular.

Whipped cream huh? And I'm not even going there with the second comment from the bottom....

So...will you tell me who you are or will I continue to remain your dirty little secret?
You can even make up an alias of you want...like, "Yes. I am Pedro. I sell goats in Ecuador. I read your blog because I like reading about flopping boobs."

Or....

"I am Olaf. I found picture of wife Hilda and I on our sexy tractor. I am glad you think tractor is sexy too."

I'm not posting any damn pictures today because I don't have time to look for anything. It took me over an hour and a half to read everyone on my blog roll because of that shitty Trojan from yesterday.(Thanks to Ron's link I kicked it's MoFO ASS!) And of course thanks to the rest for the advice and helpful stuff in the comments...(
$85?!?! I'd better get a stiff one with that! Drink...what were YOU thinking?)

Ok....so...here's the plan. If you lurk...leave me some love... Or money. Money would be nice. I always need alcohol and it's not cheap ok?

Seriously...you know all about me and how dumb I am. I want to know who you are and what your story is.

OK. So...I'll be back another day. As for today, I have dishes and then an afternoon in the hammock with a good book and a few drinks...what a perfect plan!

Delurk...you'll feel better. Even if you make something up...really...Just do it already.
Posted by at

33 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 30, 2008 at 9:00 AM

    I am one of your lurkers, you make me laugh and guess what? I am kinda elderly but I never go out on Tuesday, too many old people out there. So here is one old girl that doesn't hate you I really enjoy your writing. Katy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Warped Mind of RonMay 30, 2008 at 9:00 AM

    Ello, my name is Juan and I live in Columbia. I am seeking to find women that need money for alcohol to come to my Country and act as a drug mule for my small drug running business. I also am very interested in people that poo in other peoples mouths and like whipped cream.

    Muchos Gracias Senorita

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 30, 2008 at 9:57 AM

    Another anonymous here.
    Sorry but the witness protection program has refused to allow me to tell anyone who I am.
    I arrived here at your blog because your name was on a few blog lists of blogs that I do read regularly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Evil Twin's WifeMay 30, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    Where's the list of "friends who comment everyday"? I guess we're just not mysterious enough for you! Humph! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Warped Mind of RonMay 30, 2008 at 12:06 PM

    {Sniff... Whimper...} Yeah, i'm just not good enough, that's why I tried to disguise myself as a lurker above. {Crying}

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMay 30, 2008 at 12:15 PM

    I'm going out on a limb here but I think BG just wants to rest of us to introduce ourselves.

    I believe I see both of the non-anonymous commenters listed in her blog roll.What more do you want?

    I read you every day, BG. I found you VIA Jeff Kay. I never comment because I'm the strong, silent type.

    ReplyDelete
  7. kwr221May 30, 2008 at 12:19 PM

    Hey, at least you got 2 lurkers to come forward.

    I've asked a few times (Madrid? Netherlands? - who are you!!??) And why are you here?! I got nothin'. Zip. Zero. Nada.

    I don't know if they came from a search, by accident, or on purpose. I especially want to know if any of them know me in real life. I'm just curious, dammit.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Blonde GoddessMay 30, 2008 at 12:40 PM

    ETW and Ron...You guys are on my blog roll. That means you're important. I KNOW who you are obviously and I know what your story is because I read about you ever single day.

    I just wanted to know who is reading and never commenting. A huge majority of my repeat readers are anonymous. You guys are only a small fraction of the repeat readers on my counter.

    Katy: Thanks for commenting.I felt my heart swell up when you said you didn't go out on Tuesdays either. Aww....

    Witness Protection Commenter: I KNEW IT! I figured that a few lurkers were showing up via the blog roll people. Perhaps if you ever need advice on how to stay inconspicuous you can call on me to give you a few tips? I think I'm pretty good at going un-noticed....don't you think? LOL

    kwr221: I think curiosity gets the best of us. I looked at my counter and the majority of returners have looked and left without so much as a hello. Oh well..Guess I'm their dirty little secret.

    Jeff Kay fan: Glad you commented. I actually found Jeff's site because of two other people who told me about it. Mark (who comments all the time on the wvsr) is related to someone who went to school with Jeff, (Randy). He has a smoking fish on the back of his truck. I asked him about it one day and he told me Mark had made the decal and sent some to Jeff. Then they told me about the site.
    Then ETW told me about Jeff's site. Her hubby knew him when he was younger and still lived here in WV. Thanks for letting me know you're out there.

    ReplyDelete
  9. BuzzardbillyMay 30, 2008 at 2:06 PM

    Oh what an excellent idea for a blog!!

    I'm forever curious about my lurkers. I have one in London that shows every day (sometimes more than once) yet I have no idea. Considering I know some people from London it makes me extra curious.

    Your search hits are hilarious, as always. I freaking love to see the shit that people seek on the net. It's like a peek behind the curtain of every person's Oz.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JCIIIMay 30, 2008 at 2:54 PM

    I don't think I'm lurking, just taking advantage of the link you leave when you post on the WVSR message board....

    Tammie, do you live close to Buck? Do you know Buck?
    What the Buck???????

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMay 30, 2008 at 2:59 PM

    I'm also a Jeff Kay Fan who found you site and etw's site from his blog roll. I'm a health professional from central ohio (ahia) I enjoy a touch of humor and reality everyday and read the blogs on almost a daily basis.
    I am very envious of the ability to write such engaging stories. So although I am a lurker I guess I'm not so anonymous any more.

    ReplyDelete
  12. utenziMay 30, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    Actually, I was quite comfortable lurking, my dear. Now I think I'll go back and duck under cover.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 30, 2008 at 4:38 PM

    You're my dirty little secret.
    Found ya thanks to the wvsr. I keep coming back because you're not like any other woman I know. I wish you had a twin sister who was single.

    ReplyDelete
  14. DaveMay 30, 2008 at 5:05 PM

    It makes me giggle that "Jennifer Broome Boob Job" is on your list - She is a local weather caster for News4 WOAI in San Antonio, and strangely, I get an assload of hits on my Blog with that as the search string!

    The deal is (though nobody will admit it) she is a nice cute lady that was as flat as a board. Then one day, she seemed to have some, enhancements to her weather cast.

    So there ya go!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ms.Barbara JaneMay 30, 2008 at 8:06 PM

    I have enjoyed your comments on the WVSR for a long time now. I found Jeff strictly by accident and have been a devoted fan ever since. I will say that reading your blog actually inspired me to start my own. As of today I have been writing for 2 weeks and I am enjoying it soooo much. Thanks for helping me feel like people might give a shit about the crap I think. Or not, who cares. It's just good to be writing.
    Thanks!
    ps, I haven't ever left a comment on WVSR but I read them all.

    ReplyDelete
  16. BossinjoMay 30, 2008 at 8:42 PM

    I too read almost every day...I just enjoy a local (non-native) say it all so well!

    ReplyDelete
  17. MLightMay 30, 2008 at 10:06 PM

    I can't make up an alias or leave an amusingly tart comment. I am boring, therefore I shall go back to lurking. Daily. I do enjoy your stories, your tart comments, and your opinionatedness.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Blonde GoddessMay 31, 2008 at 6:51 AM

    BuzzardBilly: Like I said earlier,there are the regulars who I know read,(my blog roll)but that only makes up a small percentage of the return readers.
    I too get that person from London..several times a day. There are four or five others from England who visit either every day or every other day. I'm just curious like you. You are probably how they found me in fact...

    jciii: I don't think you're a lurker because I already know about you. You're just not a commenter and that's fine too. I know about some people because they email me instead of commenting. They're not lurkers either.

    anonymous from ohio: I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Just sit down and write what's on your mind. That's all I do. It's really not hard. In fact once you start, it just flows forth, like a well spring of thoughts...Thanks for introducing yourself. I'm sure the ETW is happy to discover who one of her lurkers is as well.

    Utenzi: I think that lurking suits you. It's sexy...LOL

    anonymous: I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WAS A DIRTY LITTLE SECRET!!! HAHAHA...

    Dave: It figures that you're responsible for that. I should have known...I think you made a comment and that's why people get hits here when they search for it...yeah...that's what happened.

    Tiff:Don't worry...you didn't blow your cover. I'm blonde, remember? I'll forget all about it...

    Barbara Jane: It's great to meet you! I checked out your blog and added you to my daily reads. I'm glad you came across me accidentally. I think you're a great addition to my blog friends!

    bossinjo: Do I know you in person? That is something I wonder about. How many people read this that I know in person....

    mlight: Thanks for introducing yourself. I read your blog too and have added it to my daily reading. I loved the pictures(especially the ones of Boston.)And although this may frighten you, we actually have a lot of the same interest. I'm really glad to meet you and add you to my blog friends!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Blonde GoddessMay 31, 2008 at 7:19 AM

    jciii: I forgot to answer the Buck question. NO, I don't know Buck. I know Mark personally and we drink with his brother-in-law but he doesn't blog.
    Of course I know a lot of other WVSR readers and they're all on my blog roll.
    I email with Angry White Guy on occasion and Uncle Buzz has emailed me before.
    This time around I actually got six other emails from people who read me VIA the WVSR to let me know they're lurkers.... It was nice to meet them and I want to thank them for emailing me to let me know who they are!

    ReplyDelete
  20. moooooog35May 31, 2008 at 7:59 AM

    My name is moooooog and I have a pretty anus.

    This is "pretty anuses anonymous," right?

    Well, nothing you didn't know already anyway.

    By the way...

    Who is Jeff Kay? Is he related to Mary Kay?

    If so, can he score me some anus beautification products?

    Thanks in advance.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousMay 31, 2008 at 9:45 AM

    I found your blog by accident and have been reading it ever since. I love the way you use pictures to get your point across. Very clever and funny!
    I don't always get to read because I travel a lot, but as you can see, I do read from those destinations when I get a chance.(India was my last location.)
    Keep up the good work! It's the highlight of my day.
    Jack

    ReplyDelete
  22. Surf Reporter GregMay 31, 2008 at 10:36 AM

    Been reading WVSR for a year or two, and just started exploring the "homepage" links a few months ago. I mainly stick with the people on Jeff's comment page. Being from Parkersburg, I know your West Virginia pain. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Warped Mind of RonMay 31, 2008 at 11:45 AM

    OMG they are everywhere!!! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  24. rennrattMay 31, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    I love the list of searches that lead people to you!

    I read (almost) daily, but don't always comment.

    But you knew that already, eh?

    -----------------------------------

    I'm flying to Maine next weekend. I'll be in the County by evening on Saturday. D'ya want me to pick anything up for ya?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jerry in WVMay 31, 2008 at 4:55 PM

    Hey. I found your site via Jeff's site. I have commented on here a few times, but read daily. I live very close by. Just down the road in Cross Lanes.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Offended BloggerMay 31, 2008 at 6:01 PM

    Ha! As if I would admit that I read your blog. Please!

    Not only that, am I going to seriously admit that I found you by typing in "dear god, i have a problem and i think it is me"?!

    Hell no!

    You will just have to forever wonder who I am. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. CIA-RAYJune 1, 2008 at 8:49 AM

    I sit down every sunday morning and catch up with the insanity.
    It's one of my guilty pleasures.
    I can't access your site from work on account of the government is kind of picky about what us top-security people read.
    I do check in with the satellite I have trained on your house and I must say I enjoy your new hammock.Feel free to sunbathe topless.

    I've been reading you for awhile but I can't remember how I found you. Yours is the only blog I look at so it was probably some porn search.

    Thanks for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousJune 1, 2008 at 9:07 AM

    You say everything I wish I could say! I'm a mouse so it would never happen!I live vicariously through you.
    I found your blog VIA a link somewhere and I love it! I read every day!

    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  29. leeannJune 1, 2008 at 12:37 PM

    I don't lurk. I just get lost and wind up in the cupboard.
    Your peanut butter is past its expiration date, btw.
    *burp*

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJune 1, 2008 at 1:51 PM

    I think you're bloody ridiculous. I only wish I could find some bird as colourful as you here across the pond.

    C

    ReplyDelete
  31. brendalove@gmail.comJune 1, 2008 at 1:56 PM

    I come from the Planet known as Brenda. I have big alien girlcrush on you. I loves your blog. However, I do not get here as often as I would like.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Alan DeVallJune 1, 2008 at 3:16 PM

    We dated in 1989.
    I couldn't believe it when I found you on here. I did a google search on Loring Air Force Base and there you were.
    I read every day. I moved back to Florida and I'm working in law enforcement.
    You look great!
    I'm still not married. :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. DaveJune 2, 2008 at 4:17 AM

    I'm still not married. :)

    And that makes it official: You have a stalker!

    ReplyDelete

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