Pop-Till-You-Drop
I just want to give a big shout out to Janis for posting that special treat on her blog for me to find this morning.
So what else have I been doing besides popping bubble wrap you ask?
Ummm....
I made brownies.
Yeah...I made brownies.
I was craving something chocolaty and sweet so I whipped up a batch of brownies. Of course I didn't actually NEED brownies. Mainly because my ass is growing at an alarming rate...
BUT DAMMIT! I WANTED BROWNIES SO I MADE SOME!
Maybe I'm getting ready for my 'friend' to visit? I'm terribly about keeping track of that so who knows?
Anyway...are you ready for this?
I ate RAW brownie dough.
Yep...living on the edge people...
Uncooked eggs in that stuff ya know.
And I ate it.
Yeah...I know it can make me sick and give me the screaming shits, blah, blah, blah...so what?
The worst thing that can happen is that I'll end up trapped on the shitter all afternoon.
Trust me...that won't upset me. Not one bit. Of course it would be nice to have a lap top but I'll have my phone,a few good books, a beverage. I'll be just fine...
*RING RING*
"Hello?"
"Mawahwahwahwahwah."
"Gee. I'm sorry but I can't help you out. I ate raw brownie mix and I'm trapped on the shitter the rest of the afternoon. Let me get back to you tomorrow, ok?"
It's like a mini vacation...
When I went out to lunch with my fellow bloggers, BuzzardBilly mentioned this new fad that people are doing. Essentially people are whitening their assholes. I can understand whitening their teeth but their assholes? So I decided to research this little phenomena and see what it's all about.
I was browsing for information and I came across this little gem when I typed in "anus bleaching."
Er....I'm not quite sure what to say about that...AND I had it on safe search. Wow...
I think I'll skip the discussion on that...I need more raw brownie dough...
Last night I hung out here at the house. I made dinner and then sat down to read. I made myself a Long Island Ice Tea and settled in to read....
Then everyone needed something.
Is there a big read flashing light that goes off somewhere when I'm trying to relax? I'd like to know because I'd smash that fucker into a million pieces...I swear I would.
I ended up escaping to the Brotherton's house because Little Beatle had gone missing and wasn't home when he was supposed to be.
Mr.Brotherton was kind enough to offer me beer, which I took gratefully, and I kicked back and relaxed at his house instead.
So TAKE THAT DEMANDING FAMILY!
I think that may be the answer to a few of my problems.
I need a drinking buddy...or a buddy. Some guy who does not want to have sex with me and could enjoy drinking, watching the game and telling humorous stories.
Just think of me like this...
I honestly think if I could find someone like that to hang out with I'd be much happier.
With that said, here is my mood today...
I'm happy. I feel like dancing. I think it might be the raw brownie dough, who knows? I'm not going to question it though.
Have a great day...
I'm with you on the raw brownie dough and I'll raise you some raw cookie dough. I've had times I convinced myself to bake cookies and I never turned on the oven, Mmmmm....
ReplyDeleteMmm, raw cookie dough. And raw BROWNIE dough too, for that matter. And sometimes (don't tell anyone) ground beef.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm still here.
Yay for being happy! Yay!!!
GROUND BEEF?
ReplyDeleteWow Tiff...wow...LOL
Too bad they don't make slice and bake brownies like they do cookies - I just unwrap those tubes and nibble away, but either way it does wonders for the mood!
ReplyDeleteMmmmm
I heard that the odds of getting sick from eating raw cookie dough or any mix with raw eggs for that matter, that you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than getting sick from the cookie dough...and I fussed at my kids all those years...go figure.
ReplyDeleteReading: It doesn't matter if you live with five other family members or only one, they see you escaping into a bookworld of your own and cannot stop themselves from bugging you.
ReplyDeleteHey, if you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than getting sick from brownie batter, perhaps you should have saved enough for Mr. Man to enjoy a brownie batter bikini later.
I don't know if you read prior days comments later, but I added a poem to my comment on your post from yesterday tht I think you'll love. Go lookie.
PS: What you want to look up is "sphincter bleaching" It's very funny.
ReplyDeleteBuzzardBilly, I LOVED the poem. In fact, I am going to take my newest poetry book to the ball field tonight and grab a little culture while I'm watching the game...
ReplyDeletePerhaps if I sneak in the reading no one will notice?
I used to eat raw hamburger all the time as a kid, but no more!! No more cookie dough either - too scary a thought.
ReplyDeleteI love Laurel and Hardy and that graphic makes me laugh!
Your new drinking buddy will have to be gay.
ReplyDeleteThe next time the interruption during reading happens?
ReplyDeleteStart reading OUT LOUD.
Then get up (still reading) and wander into the other room.
They'll either follow (to listen) or eventually leave you alone.
The Evil Twin and I discussed the bleaching process. He said women with pretty ones shouldn't worry about it. He said, "Like you - yours is really pretty." I said, "Thanks... I think. Ewwww." LOL.
ReplyDeleteTo think when I started reading blogs I never thought I would know that the ETW has a pretty anus... LOL
ReplyDeleteAny time you're on CO, drop by. We'll sit on the deck, drink beer, and make fun of the neighbors' kids. And, I won't try to have sex with you. I'm WAAAAYYY too lazy to cheat.
ReplyDelete