Man, I have been trying my damnest to get motivated and actually buy something, but I have yet to purchase one thing for anyone.
I'm not even kidding.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME????
Look, I'm trying the best I can, ok? It's very hard to go shopping when you're busy laying around drunk, trying to take advantage of your hot husband.
By the way, Mr.Man says I'm making him old before his time.
Goddamn crybaby. That's what I say. Suck it up and take it like a man, I say.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MR.MAN?
Yeah, yeah....I know. I can't figure it out either.
Most men would be THRILLED with a wife who lusts after him constantly! Whatfuckingever!!!
ANYWAY...in order to use up some of this crazy energy I have I am going to DO something to prepare for Christmas!!!
Tomorrow.....
Yes, that is pretty lame but procrastination is an art and I am one of the artist who make it a wonderful experience for the senses.
Yes, I am a loser who lacks motivation and the ability to take life seriously. What of it? You watch me do the things I do, so you already know this about me....
Speaking of that, would anyone be interested in watching my life, VIA a webcam? (No naughty bits will be included before you blurt your answer out pervs...)
There have been a few suggestions from people, mostly people who live near me and actually witness the madness, that they'd like to see with their own two eyeballs the events as they unfold...(the ones they miss).
Personally, the thought of it scares me, although I'd be happy to reenact the entire swiping the cell phone through the crack of my ass trick...(which was real by the way)...
Meh...let me know what you think. I've been mulling it over and for security purposes I suppose I'd have to think of a way to monitor everyone watching. It hurts my head to think about it really...I'm sure that someone smarter than me could come up with something.
That pretty much includes everyone in the universe...
Well...except for this guy...
Let me know what you think, alrightie???
Good to see you in the Xmas Spirit!
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Bush shows him to be the buffoon I've always known he was.
ReplyDeleteI haven't bought anything for Christmas either.
If you want I can send you copies of the footage I have from the cameras I've hidden in your house.... ummm... I mean... nevermind...
ReplyDeleteGot Bev a 20" solid oak, leather wrapped handle, back scratcher. An appropriate self gratifying device suitable for use in public. Sumpin' huh...?
ReplyDeleteHope this computer can get whatever channel you're gonna be on. Will I have to get one of those converter box things I keep hearing about? Glad you're back Ho.
er...uh...HoHoHo.
Webcam sounds good but I'm afraid that Chris Hansen from Dateline may still be monitoring me.
ReplyDeletecool new layout. good luck with x-mas.
ReplyDeleteAdamAndEve.com gives you 50% off one item if you use promo code Sirius or XM, and a free gift if you spend over $17.
ReplyDeleteBirds, stones, etc. Just sayin'..
I have Nate's stuff and my dad's stuff except for a movie I might get him. Other than that, NADT!
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to see the cellphone asscrack swipe myself.
Web Cam: Okay, we have established no naughty parts. But will you be wearing that same thing as the Blonde Goddess Christmas Elf featured on the page? Nothing naughty about that, right?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I think it would be cool. We wouldn't even have to witness you do the cell phone credit card swipe, you could perform some of your other antics and it would be just fine.
Oh, important note: I have taken off from work tomorrow in order to find a Christmas present for my wife. I sure hope there are some items from Walgreen's that haven't been picked through yet.