Off we go into the wild blue yonder...

As I crawled into bed last night (after consuming most of the icy cold Yuenglings in the fridge)I laid in bed contemplating the whole being a Lutheran pastor thing.
While I know I'd be good at it, I would probably begin each sermon with "What the hell is wrong with you people?" and end every one with "So get your heads out of your asses already!".
I just think I'm too blunt to be a Pastor....but thanks for the encouragement.


"Pastor Tammie's sense of humor was NOT appreciated by the rest of the church."

I think it was a good decision for me to not pursue that line of work.
Plus I ended up having a baby out of wedlock...probably not one of the requirements to get into Seminary...


"Only four more weeks before Moses is born and then another four years of Seminary school before I'm ordained!Whoo Hoo!"

When I was 17 years old, I had just given birth to Freya and I had several choices...
A: Marry the father who didn't want to get married anymore than I did.
OR
B: Keep working that shitty 11-7 night shift at the factory, taking care of Freya during the day and trying to cram other side jobs in while never sleeping (which wasn't working out too great for me at the time).

The other option I hadn't considered at the time was joining the Air Force.
A girl I worked with at the factory lived on the local Air Force base with her husband. She talked to me about the whole thing and asked why I didn't consider it.
That got me thinking....I was smart enough...I was independent...I could make a good life for Freya and I...
I decided to do it.
One problem....my family was completely against it.
No support what-so-ever...
So that was the end of that.
I had no one to care for Freya while I went through basics and school...a sacrifice I was willing to make to give the two of us a better life.

So I married that dick head and lived in hell for 6 years instead.

I think I would have made a good soldier...and I KNOW I would have ended up a lifer...


"Senior Master Sargent at my retirement."

I did kind of get into the Air Force when I married Mr.Man....(if you consider an enlisted dependent 'getting in'...LOL).

Another unknown fact about me is that I didn't have an imaginary friend when I was growing up.
Now I have quite an imagination...but no imaginary friend?
Hmmm....that's an interesting fact.

When Freya was born her father refused to pay the 20 buck to have his name put on the birth certificate. So my name is the only name on her birth certificate. Yet another unknown fact...

Ummm....let's see...what else is there?

I'm going to have to think about it some more.
I know...I know...everyone keeps secrets but I need to think of secrets I'm willing to share.
Most of my secrets aren't as incriminating as they painful. I'd prefer to keep those to myself.

In the meantime Veggie Stick is walking around bitching and crabbing about losing her phone charger.
HEAVEN HELP US!
Her friend has a phone charger she can bring to her her later but THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
SHE'S DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE WITH HER BITCHING!
I'm not even kidding when I tell you that she's been bitching for two hours STRAIGHT WITHOUT STOPPING!


"IF I DON'T CHARGE MY CELL PHONE IT'S GONNA DIE!"


You know...maybe being a Pastor would help in situations like this. I'm going to consult my homeboy Jesus and see what he thinks...

Holy water?
Maybe if I baptize her?
I have just the place.....



I bet a few dips into that Holy water will help get rid of her possession....

I'm going to get off here and listen to my Ipod. It'll drown out the screeching until I can start drinking at five.

More tomorrow...if I can think of anything else.